Meine Reise nach .../My journey to ...: Puttaparthi

With the train and bus to Puttaparthi, some pictures of the landscape north of Banglore.

In the ashram complex, it is forbidden to take pictures, and especially of its Guru - Sathya Sai Baba - no chance. So thanks Wikipedia:

The ashram complex is very big, very cheap with good food, so I enjoyed my stay a lot. Sathya Sai Baba (SB) is treated as a god there, and his devotee agree, he is the highest as possible incarnated human, or in other words God in a body. I didn't know anything about SB, only that there is his ashram, where you can stay, and that he did a lot for the people, built hospitals, schools... everything in Puttaparthi. As one friend told me, that she studied everything about SB since 15 years, and she is sure about that: he is god, in contrast to all the prophets (Jesus, Mohamed, Buddha ...) he was born perfect, and had not to become it. When she told me that, I heard for the first time, that he should be god, and when I entered after the cantine to eat, I was looking at one picture (pictures of him are everywhere!), at which it seemed that he was looking at me, I looked to another picture, again, I felt his eyes on all pictures directed to me, and I really was scared. Are you really god? I felt being watched now.
In my 2 weeks stay, I was confronted with this issue, a lot of people told me their experiences with SB. He occurs in a lot of people's dream, ashes comes out of his pictures, he materalizes things, ... When the first one told me, she was called by him to come to Puttaparthi - spoken with her per dream - I thought, she is crazy... One austrian woman told me about healing wonders with her, and she said to me, if he wants me to his devotee, he will catch me. And I still don't know what to do with his body - cannot believe that god is staying in this body, but I know me, no body I would accept for god. My mind was busy, is he really god, if he is god, there is no question I would have to him, there is no wish, what I would have fulfilled, strange. All the life you think of the situation, if you meet god, what you want... but I really faced the situation, assumed he is god, there is nothing he can do for me, nothing I would be able to ask him - its a nice game for the mind! What about you?
When I left, I found an answer for me: it is not important who and what he is (he also says that!). For people who need an alive god, its good. And important is his teaching only. The fact is: we are all one. We all come from the same source, god/love (however you call it), so we all are the same. If you hurt another, you hurt with it only yourself! And how I remember of Vipassana, the teacher there said, to show someone respect, is not to kiss his feet, it is following his teaching/path. I like this statement, and often could not understand, why the people just want to see SB or their guru, why they e.g. fight for it when his teaching is saying "morality in the society" or "peace"? that makes no sense. I saw this duality! In Puttaparthi, however, he is omnipresent! And I could feel his power. I also got a lot respect of him, his teaching and see his love, but I have still a problem, I am not able to surrender.
At this time in the ashram I was faced also with the question if I should help the people, my next, maybe with doing seva. SB often says: serve all. I thought I am always just taking. The indian people always help me, give me, I do nothing, my parents support me, I do nothing, of course my mind had a bad feeling. One situation with a girl showed me, that I should be stable first, before I help others, otherwise I am not able to help. And that I shoudn't say anything, when I am not sure about the answer properly. I don't want to tell the story now, but I learned a lot of it, and the message was very clear. Thanks "god" ;-)

One question, which appeared in my mind and still I found not the answer, with what I am satisfied: I discovered that Sri Ramana, and other enlightened people had cancer when they died. That makes no sense to me. They must had the power to heal themselves, but if they had it, why they wouldn't had used it? Is healing possible, and what about this karma - some people answered me the question with their karma. But anyway, it should not be important, because enlightened people are not attached to their body - still I don't understand this - but I started to think about what means to be enlightened.
In Puttaparthi, there was also a Zen master, a friend in my dorm took me to his meditations. His active meditations open the chakras up to the heart chakra, and I was so impressed after my first one, he opened also mine with this simple exercises. And as my friend said, she loves him so much, I also felt so much love for him, and when I left Puttaparthi, I was very sad, it broke my heart to leave because of this real Master of Love and his meditations. I again faced some of my problems. E.g. I was not able to laugh without a reason (doing laughing yoga), so a question - can you do it? it suspends a lot of blockades, just with practicing it. His meditation suspended a lot of mine. Again, why I just didn't stay longer? Something inside of me said, I have to leave. To much again?

The ladies dorm - when I first went in, I was sent out again, not only now it took me a while until I understood the reason - they thought I am a boy. "I am a lady" when I understood and a laugh from both sides ;-)