Tiruvannamalai - one piece of heaven

This is the place with the holy mountain, which is said, that it does not let you go, if you fit with its energy. The name of the mountain is Mt Arunachala, and here is the ashram of Sri Ramana Maharshi, who was meditating on this mountain until he got enlightened. This place is the hometown of a lot of sadhus, who came here to get enlightened too, it has some ashrams and also a big temple, where at the moment a festival was going on.
On my way to the top of the Mt Arunachala
with Jana

and other indian friends
you can see the big size of the temple


People say, that the teaching of Sri Ramana Maharshi is of highest level, but I haven't heard of it until now. Also I was not really interested on his teaching, still thinking I have so much and enough knowledge in my head, and only need to practice. I knew, I am a beginner in practicing meditation and all spiritual techniques, but what I didn't know, i found out there!
On my first day, I met Eddie. That what this, mid in his fifties old, irish man and me had in common was the same hairstyle *g*. As I saw later, to have no hair is always good for a nice talk. But anyway, he was my first "spiritual" friend, in my spiritual friendship career. Through him, I met a lot of local "westerners", who live there and often hold different activities. So I also joined to sing Bhajans, went to a singing ball meditation, checked out the festival site... and met very special people and friends - people with the same "wavelength" than me.
In the time there, I was confronted with two questions. The first question is "Who am I?" - that is the main issue of Sri Ramana's teaching. When meditating, the same question is "Who is observing?" (the mind, the body, the seeing, the hearing...), because you easily can say, I am not the body, I am not my ears, I am not my mind, I am not this characteristic feature of me (e.g. spontaneous, friendly, bullheaded) ... I must be something below all this. I didn't understand, what the people meant when they said, they know who is observing - because I didn't! I am speaking of the experimental level!!! Theoretically its easy, that must be the soul - that was also what my mind said to me, its easy, I know! (That I didn't know, I realized when I first experienced.) The second question was "What is important?" (for me, and for everyone, in general). I realized, I didn't know even what is important for me in my life, and I thought, this is a problem. I knew on theoretical level, how strong the mind is, and that you can live the life you want easily, using the mind correctly. But not to know which life, everything, makes the mind useless. And also my concept of my spiritual goal was broken, when a friend told me, it is not important for him, what you believe and if to see anything (opening of the third eye), ... it is all just a question of consciousness. I even just now realize, that I understood nothing at this time on experimental level - of course my mind said, I know, very easy! What else I saw there very clearly was, that everyone is a teacher for you, a mirror, a reflection, and in some you see an ideal. So I found my first ideal, my first Guru, here, in a friend.
After one week of enjoying the life there, my feeling inside said to me, I have to leave. At the same time, I thought I am crazy, now I found what I wanted, everything is perfect and I am leaving - I think it was too much for me, this energy?! Leaving was very easy, the mountain didn't hold me back, and not the mountain was it, what I loved most, it was the people I met, who made this place so special for me.
I am sorry, but I never took my camera - no pictures of the best parts!

Puttaparthi - meeting with "the" god

With the train and bus to Puttaparthi, some pictures of the landscape north of Banglore.




In the ashram complex, it is forbidden to take pictures, and especially of its Guru - Sathya Sai Baba - no chance. So thanks Wikipedia:
The ashram complex is very big, very cheap with good food, so I enjoyed my stay a lot. Sathya Sai Baba (SB) is treated as a god there, and his devotee agree, he is the highest as possible incarnated human, or in other words God in a body. I didn't know anything about SB, only that there is his ashram, where you can stay, and that he did a lot for the people, built hospitals, schools... everything in Puttaparthi. As one friend told me, that she studied everything about SB since 15 years, and she is sure about that: he is god, in contrast to all the prophets (Jesus, Mohamed, Buddha ...) he was born perfect, and had not to become it. When she told me that, I heard for the first time, that he should be god, and when I entered after the cantine to eat, I was looking at one picture (pictures of him are everywhere!), at which it seemed that he was looking at me, I looked to another picture, again, I felt his eyes on all pictures directed to me, and I really was scared. Are you really god? I felt being watched now.
In my 2 weeks stay, I was confronted with this issue, a lot of people told me their experiences with SB. He occurs in a lot of people's dream, ashes comes out of his pictures, he materalizes things, ... When the first one told me, she was called by him to come to Puttaparthi - spoken with her per dream - I thought, she is crazy... One austrian woman told me about healing wonders with her, and she said to me, if he wants me to his devotee, he will catch me. And I still don't know what to do with his body - cannot believe that god is staying in this body, but I know me, no body I would accept for god. My mind was busy, is he really god, if he is god, there is no question I would have to him, there is no wish, what I would have fulfilled, strange. All the life you think of the situation, if you meet god, what you want... but I really faced the situation, assumed he is god, there is nothing he can do for me, nothing I would be able to ask him - its a nice game for the mind! What about you?
When I left, I found an answer for me: it is not important who and what he is (he also says that!). For people who need an alive god, its good. And important is his teaching only. The fact is: we are all one. We all come from the same source, god/love (however you call it), so we all are the same. If you hurt another, you hurt with it only yourself! And how I remember of Vipassana, the teacher there said, to show someone respect, is not to kiss his feet, it is following his teaching/path. I like this statement, and often could not understand, why the people just want to see SB or their guru, why they e.g. fight for it when his teaching is saying "morality in the society" or "peace"? that makes no sense. I saw this duality! In Puttaparthi, however, he is omnipresent! And I could feel his power. I also got a lot respect of him, his teaching and see his love, but I have still a problem, I am not able to surrender.
At this time in the ashram I was faced also with the question if I should help the people, my next, maybe with doing seva. SB often says: serve all. I thought I am always just taking. The indian people always help me, give me, I do nothing, my parents support me, I do nothing, of course my mind had a bad feeling. One situation with a girl showed me, that I should be stable first, before I help others, otherwise I am not able to help. And that I shoudn't say anything, when I am not sure about the answer properly. I don't want to tell the story now, but I learned a lot of it, and the message was very clear. Thanks "god" ;-)

One question, which appeared in my mind and still I found not the answer, with what I am satisfied: I discovered that Sri Ramana, and other enlightened people had cancer when they died. That makes no sense to me. They must had the power to heal themselves, but if they had it, why they wouldn't had used it? Is healing possible, and what about this karma - some people answered me the question with their karma. But anyway, it should not be important, because enlightened people are not attached to their body - still I don't understand this - but I started to think about what means to be enlightened.
In Puttaparthi, there was also a Zen master, a friend in my dorm took me to his meditations. His active meditations open the chakras up to the heart chakra, and I was so impressed after my first one, he opened also mine with this simple exercises. And as my friend said, she loves him so much, I also felt so much love for him, and when I left Puttaparthi, I was very sad, it broke my heart to leave because of this real Master of Love and his meditations. I again faced some of my problems. E.g. I was not able to laugh without a reason (doing laughing yoga), so a question - can you do it? it suspends a lot of blockades, just with practicing it. His meditation suspended a lot of mine. Again, why I just didn't stay longer? Something inside of me said, I have to leave. To much again?
The ladies dorm - when I first went in, I was sent out again, not only now it took me a while until I understood the reason - they thought I am a boy. "I am a lady" when I understood and a laugh from both sides ;-)

Even monkeys are staying in the ashram.
and more than expected - some people turn into a monkey when SB appears in the mandir (darshan hall).

Together with my friend Margo, we took the train to the south - she is going to Amma's ashram and I am going to the Sivananda ashram in Neyyar Dam.

a stop-over for a little sightseeing tour and a coffee in Banglore... I like this bridge to the spiritual world *g*
the decoration of the telephone cells
the nice bed in the 2. air condition sleeping wagon (first time I traveled so luxury)
and the friendly staff.

Kovalam - a real holiday!

On the trainstation in Puttaparthi, we met Kereen, who is also a devotee of SB . She and me, we had the same departure station - Trivandrum. I didn't had any plan what to do and where to go, just knew in 5 days, I will go to the Sivananda Ashram to spend my Chrismas and Silvester time there. She said, I should come with her to Kovalam. My mind said - in this little touristic place? - but why not - and it was a great holiday!
Kovalam is really a little place and the people are very friendly. Kereen told me a lot, we used to meet for having food together, had a nice talk, its nice to have a friend. But not only one friend - since I really enjoyed to be alone, didn't make any plans for the next day, just let everything open, I nearly got busy. First, on my first trip exploring the surrounding, I passed a shop to drink a fruit juice.
It ended with a long talk, and a nice company for the next few hours. On my second day, I went to eat breakfast in a little, local restaurant, there I met Sunil. Starting with the usual questions, we quickly got in a deep conversation about life, god, and everything. He had to go to work after, and no sorry, no plans for tomorrow, we ended up. But soon I met him again, and we became "brothers" ;-). I also visited him at work, in this very nice hotel.


This day, there was a music show also, and I tried to be like the usual guests *g*
and then there was also my friend Jackson. With him I explored that I am able to laugh at least with a reason. The reason is not so important, than often we didn't understand what we were talking, anyway. In his guesthouse, the packbackers are hanging around, so often in the evenings, I also passed there.some pics:


I had a really great holiday in Kovalam. Not much time for meditation or for my own, but I enjoyed spending it with my new friends. It was so great for me, because I stopped thinking, and didn't had a bad feeling to enjoy time, spend money (little of course *g*), or to hang out with indian boys what I got used to, because I knew, soon I will go to the ashram and stay there over Chrismas and New Year, so let's have fun before in the "now"!

Sivananda Ashram - the amazing drug "yoga"

I spent in this ashram 2 weeks, the time over Chrismas and New Year. As I saw, when I entered it, it is not like a typical indian ashram. Most guests are travellers, no strict dress codes, and the people speak a lot. The ashram is located next to a lake; it is a very quiet and nice place to relax, a beautiful spot I only can recommend.

You really forget that you are in India. I thought what ashram is this? Do I really want to stay here? The first evening in the dorm, everyone was speaking, although one of the rules says: silence from 10.30 pm to 8.00 am or something like that. I was not up to make friends. I wanted to be on my own, to be silent and to do meditation, and of course to learn yoga. Anyway, the guru of this ashram is Swami Sivananda (Swami means Master) and Swami Vishnu-Devanandawho followed the teaching of Sri Sivananda. Both are already death, but their teaching and spirits are still present. The daily schedule (when I remember it right) begins at 6.00 to 7.30 am with a silent mediation and the daily chanting in the morning, which includes the aarti (hindu ritual to praise the gods) . On the picture you can see the front stage of the main hall with the most important statues of the gurus and gods of the house.
Sometimes there was a silent walking meditation around a part of the lake instead of the usual morning program, which included watching the sunrise. Very silent moments.At 7.30 am it was tea time, and at 8.00 am the morning yoga class started to around 10.00 am, where lunch was served. After this, there was a break until 1.30 pm, where tea and some fruits were waiting for us, and at 2.00 pm a lesson session started, which normally includes teaching about yoga. But over Chrismas and Silvester, there was a special program, so we got instead introductions in ayuvedic medicine, indian music and arts. One lesson was about vedic mathematics, there it was very interesting to see how quickly it can be to calculate a multiplication, division, ... of very large numbers without calculator, only with the brain, simple rules and in short time. That is all included in the Vedas, the ancient texts of India. Once, a lady from from Slovenia presented to us her painted Mandalas. In meditative state, without knowing before, she paints fantastic pictures. Another kind of meditation.The afternoon yoga class starts at 3.30 pm and lasts until 6.00 pm, when dinner is served. The dinning hall. This was a special one. One more break until 8.00 pm, and then it starts the evening program. In these days, there was often a concert or an artistic performance after half an hour silent meditation, and the end at around 10.00 pm was always the aarti again. The main hall A Kathakali dance performance The story of this performance is transmitted only per body language, without speaking, but accompagnied by music.


They painted their faces themselves!

This woman is a famous Sitar player, and also know how to sing Bhajans and entertain a big group of people.
Chrismas eve
where I saw the first time the blinking and not unvisible decorated chrismas tree and crib, yes, a bit kitsch but perfect - that is indian style!

And i think it was Santa Claus, who also visited us ;-)


Also from outside it looks like Chrismas
even though they managed only rain instead of snow *g*The health hut is a good place for the break time, it remembered me of a beer tent or mountain trekking hut when i entered it the first time, but instead of alcohol, sausages and cigarettes there are served other healthy things. And shortly before Chrismas, some Chrismas angels tried to prepare us for Chrismas with their Chrismas songs.
One kind of yoga is called karma yoga. It is selfless service and as well as in other ashrams, also here you get a daily duty to help the ashram maintain. My duty was to prepare the straw mats before the lesson class, what was a very nice work, I had luck, or was it my good karma? ;-)
On special days, there was a puja (ceremonie), and we got explained the facts and so on what p.e. a puja belongs. I have seen it before, but here I collected a bit knowledge about hindu culture, what was very good for me. On the picture it was going on a fire puja, see the beautiful sand-mandala.
Once we went to a puja, which was held on a holy hill a few kilometres away. We made a silent walk and I went the whole way without shoes. It was sunset when we started and when we reached the top it was dark. In the forest we crossed, it was very dark too, and I was concentrating totally on the road. On my way back, with shoes, a torch and accompagnied by a lovely talk, i sometimes wondered really that i didn't hurt myself, because by not concentrating on the road now, I sometimes had problems even with shoes. A lot of stones in the way,... I really was surprised what is possible. But of course, I asked my angels to bring me up safely and I trusted them like most times. Some pictures of that night the fire is passed to everyone as symbol of purification of all negative energy

and also the paste to make a tilak.
My time in Sivananda Ashram was fantastic. When I got to the ashram, I had no idea of yoga. Through these intensive yoga practice I got an extremly sensitive feeling for my body and I realized that yoga can act as a drug. My body was not used to these stretching and although it got more tired every day, I felt like high, more from day to day. And I felt for the first time, this emtyness I always felt inside of me gets slowly smaller. I don't know with what it began to be filled, outside nothing has changed, also not my questions what (my) life belongs, but I started to get this inner peace feeling, hardly to describe. Sivananda Ashram is also a very good place to meet people, I think it is nearly impossible to leave there without finding friends or people with the same wavelength. Also the yoga classes are hard enough, no need for too much silence! It was very good to have a laugh, exchange experiences or share some beautiful moments, especially because emotions can change very strongly and quickly. So did mine, at Chrismas, I felt very sentimental, so very down, and at Silvester I was flying so high, as not often before. My mind let my emotions jumping, I think jumps what were necessary to get one step higher in my spiritual latter. I met lovely people and friends. Luckily, I was able to catch Enriko, Jacqui, my twin Hen and Michael before my camera started to strike, close to Silvester. Unluckily, there are no pictures of some performances, trips and other beautiful faces of friends - only for you of course, i have saved it in my mind ;-)
My time here showed me once again very clearly, how strong the mind is and the outside world as reflection of my inside. Sivananda said, that if you can control your mind totally, you can create your life or write your own story. I felt like in my own story, and in the ashram were many people, so every person played its role perfectly to face me again with my sometimes very complicated thinking mind or unreleased situations and emotions. One situation, but different seen by different minds. So what is real? I often think too much, what other people could think of me, about my behaviour or whatever and that makes me not free. Sivananda also said, it is a waste of time, to try to think about what other people could think, in every case. There are so many possibilities that you never can imagine the answer right, and no one thinks in your way of thinking. Everyone is centered in his own life. But anyway, at least the shock, finding myself in the silvester party after that wonderful quiet and peaceful day, brought my mind back in the reality. Yes, "inhale, exhale, and bring your breath back to normal" was the key to relax. Very happy to survive that party without loosing an arm or the hearing in this hardcore disco whilst dancing or standing between the fired rockets of the fireworks, we meditated into the New Year. It was a very special jump into the New Year, sharing this time with people who have the same interests than you - not only this one, washing the sins away in the lake in the middle of the night ;-). Concerning the question of enlightenment and cancer, i thought maybe Yogis have chosen the better way. Looking good after their bodies, they might have a life without diseases. But the reality is different told me one friend. Also Yogis get sick and even there are not so many enlightened ones. But the good part of the answer was, I should forget about this, the only important thing is to live in the moment, and enlightened people do that. They are suffering too, but they are not attached to it. But of course, that my mind knew already and this answer does not satisfy it ;-). I only know now, how less I know about all these things, and I also have not really an idea, what a yogi is. With the trip to Kanyakumari organized by the ashram my time here in this special place could not take a better end. A swim in the ocean, a lot of laughing yoga, still Miia and me needed to purify a little bit more *g*. I stole this picture of Liisa Triin Vurma's Facebook pictures, so thanks, I hope not to create bad Karma now ;-)